i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
