I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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