And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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