Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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