That's intense
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
