I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
