He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize