i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
