hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
