Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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