What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't notice because vodka
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
