just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My ass is underappreciated
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize