I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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