There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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