He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
