Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
