My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
