So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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