somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
