If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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