Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
