had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
