ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
