My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
