Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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