Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
