I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
