I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You were trust falling into bushes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
