so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
