Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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