Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wear drunk well.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
