It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
