I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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