Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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