I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
