You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
