i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
