Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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