? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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