Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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