maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
