If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
