That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this just has baby written all over it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
