Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
