How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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