I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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