I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
