I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
