Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
