I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How's work?
Spinning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
