Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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