Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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