Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
