I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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