Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
