we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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