how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Randomize
