If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
